Ten Commandments of REALationship

“Love never fails”, 1 Corinthians 13: 8 in the Christian Bible.

It is inevitable for us to love and be loved. Sometimes, we will be hurt and that was the challenge of love- sacrifice, understand and care for the one you truly love. Many people get discourage to love because they were already hurt. But I totally agree as how the bible describes the unexplainable love: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. So here are some steps toward making your love last:

1. Take your partner’s breath away. Do something amazingly thoughtful and out of the ordinary and try to incorporate an element of surprise to it: a loving note tucked into a pocket. A special dinner on an otherwise ordinary night. A playlist made up with his favourite songs. These thoughtful acts will embed you in his memory.

2. Do something special on a regular basis. Call her everyday just to touch base for a few minutes. Make her meal once a week. Once she begins to expect these things, you will always be close to her awareness.

3. BE YOU. Don’t try to change him/her. Be with your desired mate because you love him/her as is, not who you think you can turn him/her into.

4. Learn what pleases your partner sexually. Make it clear that her pleasure is your pleasure, and you want to discover everything about what turns her on. She’ll be happy to have you experiment with her.

5. Teach your partner what you like. Likewise, making you happy will make her feel good. And research shows that the sexual pleasure of one partner increases the pleasure of other partner.

6. TRUST! TRUST! TRUST. Trust your mate. Of course it’s easier said than done, especially if you have been cheated on in a past relationship. However, the person you are with now does not deserve that judgement. It’s a different person and it’s a different relationship. If you don’t trust your mate, you are going to have problems.

7. Low Pride Talk nice. Don’t berate your partner in public, and also watch your tongue when you are in private. Do not show or express contempt, as it is the opposite of respect, and then that is gone, the relationship is over. If something your partner says or does pisses you off, do not act negatively. Wait to respond if you know you have a sharp tongue. Find a way to respond in a way that will diffuse the situation. The smallest argument can blow out of proportion and be the beginning of the end. The point is you communicate well. Don’t say, “That was stupid.” Go something like, “I think you could have handled that a little better.”

8. Learn how to deal with conflict. Couple fight. It’s not going to always be peaches and cream. How you handle your disputes, however, can be the difference between a short marriage and a lifelong one. Attack the issue that has popped up, not your partner. Don’t become defensive and hurtful. Talk about it. Resolve it and move on. Don’t let hurt feelings boil inside and blow up one day out of the blue.

9. Summarize and immortalize loving moments. Don’t be afraid to give voice to your love. Tell her how you feel. Write a loving note or poem. Lovers have been doing this from the beginning of time because it works.

10. AS ONE. Face adversity or a challenge together, whether it’s aimed at just one of you or both of you as a couple. Say your partner is studying for the bar exam. As the test gets closer, relieve him/her of some of his/her chores so there is more time to study. Chances are, once the exam is over, your partner will do something special for you in appreciation.

Having a successful relationship is not always going to be easy. However, if you think ahead and follow these few guidelines, the rewards can be exceedingly generous and provide a lifetime of joy and happiness.

Remember if you truly love each other, amidst the imperfections, challenges and mistakes, Love will always reigns. Don’t be afraid to love and be loved, just give your all and do what you believe what is right because that was REALationship means and it will never fail.